Did anyone see the recent article in the Fashion Section of The New York Times? Under the headline, “Whose Picture Is It?”, writer Tatiana Boncompagni documents this exchange with her nine year old, when she was going to post pictures of him riding a bike in Central Park, and he demurred:
“You are my child, and I’m proud of you.”
“But it’s my picture,” he said. “And I don’t want it on your Facebook page.”
“Sharenting” is a portmanteau word whose time has come. It basically means parents oversharing, particularly in the digital world, and it applies to all of us, whether we are proud parents, grandparents, or aunties and uncles.
The above example is just one and actually involves a bright child speaking up for his rights. But what about children who are too young to even articulate their desire for privacy?
A survey by photo Web site Posterista found that two-thirds of parents posted pictures of newborns within an hour of birth. Pretty amazing, huh? The survey, which polled 2,367 parents of kids 5 and under, discovered that 77% of baby photos appear on the parents’ Facebook page. Instagram is next with 48 percent.
And the trend is definitely up. Posterista also noted that the popularity of online posting went up after the Royal Family released pictures of Prince George online.
In AVG’s own research, 80% of parents reported uploading images and information about their very young child (age 0 to 2 years) to share with grandparents and friends online.
This begs the question: Does sharing trump privacy?
It was a topic of controversy in the US recently, after Netflix series “Orange is the New Black” actor Jason Biggs posted a video documenting practically every single moment of his wife’s delivery on Instagram and Twitter. A subsequent flash poll by Good Morning America found 92% of respondents agreed parents are oversharing online.
Certainly digital sharing has its uses. It seems reasonable, natural and convenient to post and share pictures of our loved ones. Indeed, entire niche businesses have been built around this natural urge. But the reality is that parents and doting grandparents are starting or encouraging a digital footprint, and permanent record, for that newborn.
As my AVG colleague Tony Anscombe, Senior Security Evangelist, says, “Right now, it may seem like we’re posting these pictures for us and our friends, but in the long term we’re really posting these things on behalf of our kids. A time will come (sooner than you think) that they’ll want to have their rightful say about when and where they appear online.”
In a way, sharenting and grandsharenting is a classic example of how a natural wish to do something, enabled by technology, results in future complications. The best way around this is to think things through. Will a cute picture now of baby’s first bath cause mortification later? The answer….probably!
And of course, other digital rules apply with sharenting too: you may often lose control of the rights of the image once you post it online.
Here are a few of our tips for Sharenting and Grandsharenting
- Read all terms and conditions before posting.
- Don’t make your child, grandchild, niece or nephew embarrassed in later life. For example, don’t post photos of that first bath, however tempting it might be.
- Communicate. If your kids or grandkids are online, ask them if they mind you sharing photos or other info. If they say “no”, no means no. If they say take the photo or video down, take it down.
- Establish closed networks. Share your content with a close circle of friends and family; set up groups on social networking sites so you only post to those who are in yours.
- Set a good example for the new digital generation by not oversharing.
Read our ebook for parents
You can find more good information and tips on this topic in AVG ebook: “Parent’s Guide to Early Years Online”
It’s a confusing world we live in but it’s still possible to draw the line between public and private personas. And if you develop a good strategy for posting online, it will be helpful later, when our children will be of the age where they will be posting themselves (now we’re talking selfies).